“Memories are a funny thing, aren’t they doc?”. The man sat smiling, staring into his notepad. His desk had an assortment of broken pens, sheets of loose paper, a tiny calendar and a cup with pills.

Why.. why am I even here?

“See, I don’t know if you know this, but I became a doctor because of you”, his meek smile grew wider.

Doctor? Because of me? Was I ever a doctor?

He looked into my eyes.

“Hmm, being quiet… Ah I see you’re having trouble remembering, let me try filling in the blanks doc”, he put down his notepad. I could catch a brief glimpse of his name tag.

Hmm s-som-something kumar? He’s Doctor Kumar? Do I even know a kumar? Why am I even here? Wh-Why can’t I remember?

“So long story short, you went to med school, got good grades, made good friends. Like.. really good, influential friends. In fact you even made a private practice with them.”, he kept spinning his pen around, twirling it with his fingers. But he’s not breaking eye contact. Why is he still staring at me?

My.. my head’s feeling hot.

“And you did well there, they branched out all over the country. In fact you’re in one of them as we speak”

I looked around. Did I work here? I’m.. I’m a patient here? Why am I a patient here?

My head, why is it.. Why isn’t it remembering?

I rubbed my temple. My head was getting hotter. It… it’s just not working right.

“Oh okay okay doc let’s relax.. Take a breather alright” “Ooooooooooh.. Breathe in..”, he exaggerated his motions. “Hoooooooooo.. Breathe out..”, was he being condescending?

I… what was I thinking about again?

“Alright I’ll speed the story a bit more”.

He wrote a few lines in his notepad.

“So, while you were there, you had a particular patient. An important patient one can say, since she was technically your last, until you were forced to move here.”

His eyes were uncomfortably staring into mine again. Almost to see if I had a reaction to what he was saying.

“This woman, she had a devoted son, her only family. He was studying in the corner of her room. He had entrance exams coming up. The husband was out of the picture, she was terminally ill, etc, etc. All pretty standard. All pretty cliched for you I’m sure. So you being the dutiful head honcho at the clinic diagnosed her.”

I.. I was a head?

“You diagnosed her incorrectly. You.. “, his smile wavered. His pen crushed between his palm and thumb, no longer spinning.

“You missed the symptoms, they said. She had trouble eating, you know. Horrible stomach aches. And you.. you were right there… she.. she told you. But the report you see. The report never mentioned it. Hah, one could say you could’ve FORGOT.. to mention it. Haha.. HYPOTHETICALLY of course.”

His eyes. They weren’t observing me anymore. What.. what is this feeling. Why can’t I remember any of this?

“Anyway, her dutiful son was right by her side when she passed. One can say that’s a privilege few have. And well you, you were quietly transferred here. To this, RUNDOWN, SHITSHOW OF A BARELY OPERATIONAL CLINIC!”

“Ahem, sorry my bad. Let.. Let me compose myself”, he shrugged his arms outwards.

Why is he telling me all this?

“You were transferred to this.. Quaint small town clinic. You practiced for a few years until eventually becoming a patient here. You see your friends may not have liked you after all. A shame you don’t remember really.”

His pen started twirling again. The plastic cap bent out of shape. Another broken pen.

“But.. don’t worry my good doctor. I’ll make sure you remember. I took my time with medical school you know. Struggled, suffered, the usual. But you.. You always helped me pull through. See I sorta lied when I said you were my motivation to be a doctor. I had other reasons, sure.

But you were definitely my motivation to practicehere. In this small town clinic.”. His smile returned.

“These small town clinics, you know. No one really pays attention here. No one really counts the medication. Rules are a lot laxer. No real chain of command. So no one really cares about trying out experimental drugs here. Pretty easy to get them too.”, his eyes darted to the cup of pills.

“So doc, I’ll make sure.. I’ll make sure you remember. I’ll make sure you remember my mother. I’ll make sure you remember me. I’ll make sure you remember your sins.”.

He pushed the tiny plastic cup towards me.

“Now then. It’s time for your medication.”